Finding Love Again

The Mindset of Opening Your Heart

December 30, 2022 changed my life. Surrounded by loved ones with sand in between my toes and through sobs of joy, I enthusiastically and happily said “yes” to a marriage proposal for the second time. This is from a woman who never thought she would marry again and now can’t wait to say “I do”! But this was part of a long process. The relationship that lead to proposal would never have blossomed without a private decision I made to myself and eventually others that I wanted love and marriage. For years after my divorce which ended 20 years of marriage a decade ago I repeatedly told myself I wanted to date, and have a companion but stay independent – meaning stay single. However, as my daughters grew up, graduated college and began what I call their “early careers”, I turned introspective and came to the conclusion I wanted to be part of a couple again. I desired a partner to not only love but share my experiences with, and together build a life. Another influence came from my best friend. I admired her decisiveness and confidence in knowing exactly what she wanted – a husband. Knowing what your soul wants and needs will help you bring your destiny to fruition. For me, that meant I must open my heart to love.

Open Your Heart To Love

Pray

For me, I began praying to God to bring the man He felt was suitable for me. I told Him I was ready to find love and commitment if that was what He wanted for me. I knew He knew me best and wanted his Grace to be create the union. I also threw in some attractive attributes like a sense of adventure, kindness, and intelligence, remembering a Homily from my childhood where the priest, Father George, said we must pray specific prayers at times.

Tell trusted friends and colleagues

Once I had admitted to myself and God that I was ready for a lifetime commitment, I told people! In fact, the night I reconnected with my now fiancé I told old and new friends to introduce me to men they know who seemed compatible and wanted a commitment. I must admit exposing yourself like this can be a little scary, but, this showed my focus and goal. Little did I know, my future husband was among the party attendees. I even signed up for an online dating service for a few weeks. (More on that experience in a future blog ) I allowed myself to be vulnerable by putting myself out there as a woman who is interested in a commitment and a future.

Put Yourself Out There

Like many people, I had become a bit of an introvert and recluse. A lot of us did that during the pandemic. But in 2022, I joined the gym again – actually two gyms so I could work out with my youngest daughter. I looked into resuming ballroom dancing classes. I began going out, accepting invitations to gather with friends and attend professional events. Like inertia, an object will continue its current motion. So if you are idle, you will remain in that position. Once I got going again, I am only gaining speed! Be that object in motion!

Get Busy Living Your Life

Don’t wait for love. Nobody will knock on your door and say, “Hello, I am your future”. Live your life to the fullest while you are looking for that special someone. Take a pottery class, join a committee, volunteer, get busy! But, keep your eye open, you may connect with the person next to you in a photography class you had always wanted to take.